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Autistical /ck/ pet peeves Anonymous 12/24/2019 (Tue) 05:57:59 No.522
Why do Americans put ketchup on everything? What's your major malfunction?
>>553 That's a myth. They're not actually toxic.
>>559 Isn't it because they are lactose intolerant? I know only a few select people from europe are lactose tolerant. From what I understand, people in South Asian will sometimes consume dairy products with the assistance of yogurt. Apparently, the yogurt aids with lactose digestion.
>>561 Yeah. Although that map surprises me because I thought africans would also have good milk-digesting capabilities since the Masai basically lived on blood and milk. Unless they are genetically unique in that regard?
>>561 Pajeets are more lactose intolerant than I thought for a region that worships cow and uses dairy in most foods.
>>560 All plants are toxic.
>>562 That map claims to be recent, so it includes all sorts of mixed demographics. Generally speaking, 10% of Europeans are lactose intolerant, 50% of Africans are, and 90% of Asians are. >>563 Pajeets also tend to eat lots of yogurt and paneer, both of which contain little actual lactose. The bacteria in yogurt eat the lactose, and most of the lactose is left in the whey when making paneer. >>564 Yes, but bay leaves are not acutely toxic. The danger in bay leaves is that they are a choking hazard. Carnivore ftw
>>556 Dysentery is a staple South-Asian garnish. Get used to it.
>>541 what you're describing is called "salsa", it's a mexican sauce for tacos/burritos and a dip for chips. Typically tomatoe sauce, onions, garlic, hot peppers, and spices like chili powder, cumin, oregano, cilantro, and so on
>>541 Geez, didn't see your post. Sorry. >Do you guys buy your tomato sauce in cans? I still don't know which sauce you mean, but rarely if ever unless it's a specific one from another region of the country were ingredients are not easy to find. Salsa Macha (Manly sauce) is an example, same with Habanero many years ago (the pepper is now easy to get). A "normal" sauce would be this one, it's bottom of the barrel trash but it's the one with the most tomato sauce. I would try to research and post recipe if i knew what specific sauce you mean, there's a ton of them round these parts. >>547 >Store-bought sauce is cheap in comparison. >cooking and bottling is time-consuming It's a case of convenience then, i can't blame you but bottling is quite easy, hell sometimes you don't even need to do anything other than freeze it. >>588 Salsa means sauce, which salsa do you mean >burritos and chip dip Those are two different recipes, but i can see your point. >tomatoe sauce, onions, garlic, hot peppers, and spices like chili powder, cumin, oregano, cilantro, and so on Jesus, not all together but yeah, those are the main ingredients. I think i know which sauce we are talking about, the universal Salsa Roja (red sauce), a staple of the central part of the country. It's a couple of tomatos, half a white onion, a garlic head and the chiles/peppers. Most regions vary in the selection of the peppers and depending on the type of taco sometimes the sauce is done backwards or skips steps. For a normal/commercial version, we will use the conventional method and pick some jalapeno peppers, i guess a couple will suffice. We grab all these things and twist them, the color will be light orange. Throw them into a tall pan with hot oil (quantity varies depending on the cook, for a normal one with these ingredients 2 spoons is okay) this will basically fry the very small remaining chunks and add some oily flavor. The heat will be at high initially and then we will slightly reduce it into mid when it starts bubbling, this frying will go for 15 minutes or until the color turns dark red. This cheap sauce is used in vast quantities for bathing maize tortillas in certain recipes like enchiladas or chilaquiles, for some flavor with generic run of the mill tacos (most sauces were invented to hide shitty tacos' imperfections) and for feeding tourists (i'm sorry bros). The bottled version includes small chunks of tomato and onion, plus vinegar and thickener stuff; The peppers in these versions are surplus red dust from other companies/sections and are just a mixture of ground arbol, guajillo and chipotle, they give a more complex taste but with the vinegar included it tastes like generic stuff. That's it, unless the man down under tasted a more chunky, tomato-centered sauce. In that case it's tomato sauce mixed with this thing and some small pieces of fried tomato, onion and pickled peppers like jalapeno. It's the much-dreaded mexican marinara aka vinegar sauce due to its infamous use as the main conservative, insane retard cooks will give this to you instead of normal italian tomato sauces, be it marinara bolognesa or napolitan, and i will always tip my waiter a standing penny on top of a glass filled with trash everytime.
>>522 They don't. This is like assuming all americans are niggers. I will however admit the obese hamwads to which you're likely referring do consume a large amount of the substance which is pushed by fast food chains though ubiquity and convenience for its low cost.
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>>522 I mean I guess you are techinically right since all I eat is burgers and fries even if those foods are meant to be served with catsup.
>>590 very neat my dude. Any tips on finding good, authentic salsa recipies?
>>598 and on the different kinds there are. My ignorant california soul only knows 3: mild, medium, and hot
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>>598 An interesting question, personally i always ask friends, their moms/aunts or trusted taco vendors. The best recipes i have found when searching one are in spanish-written blogspots written by bored women, bad photos and orthographic mistakes but they are very specific and usually describe a trick or two regarding mostly unrelated things (sharpening a knife with a rock, it has to be limestone). Honestly i can't give you a solid recommendation because i don't know any in english, but i heard about a witch who forced her mom to cook a wide variety of recipes in a Youtube channel, it's monetized and she spends the money on frivolities while giving deadlines to the old lady. It's popular so there might be some translations. From my specific area and experiences you only need to know: Tatemada ("Grilled", for grilled meats and seafood, it's a bunch of northern peppers and vegetables grilled for a while and mashed in specific order with specific tools), Macha ("Manly", for breads, soups and general use), Del Arbol ("From the Tree" from the chile de arbol "small tree pepper", used for tacos in general. This is a milder version of the Macha that uses the same pepper) Northern and Southern Pico de Gallo ("Cock Beak", radically different from one another, the former is a liquid sauce for fruit cocktails and the latter is a salad for general use, both cold), Colorado ("Scarlet", the original one used for Chili Beans/Chili con Carne until it got raped to death by the french in Texas along with the Jalapeno), Guacamole (i know we know, but i don't know if we know how to do it), Roja y Verde ("Red" and "Green", the latter is the same thing as i described earlier but with green tomatoes and avocado, used for bathing while hot), Northern and Southern Borracha ("Drunken", quite different from one another, one is just a Grilled one with garlic, orange juice and cold beer, the other is a hot smoothie of pulque, cheese, strong pepper and juice of something) Tamulada (habanero pepper mixed with bitter orange juice, used for vegetables and poultry), Chipotle (a famous one, made with a dried pepper of the same name, you can pinpoint which region a person is by his liking/adversity of this recipe, very smoky flavor that continues to live in your mouth for several hours) Ranchera ("Rancher", used for breakfasts, it's the same as the Grilled but stir frying, mixing and stir frying again instead of grilling and mashing), Fresca ("fresh", used for golden tacos, again it's the same as the grilled but with stir frying and overly mixing until made cream) Espantamayates or Matacaquinos ("Figeater Bettle Dread" or "Dung Bettle Killer", a macha-like liquid sauce made with tough piquin or chiltepin peppers and a variety of herbs like bay laurel and oregano. The name comes as a double entente joke regarding slurs towards homosexuals and the perceived aversion insects have towards the bushes/trees from these peppers), Mole (southerners will claim this is a unique and interstellar treasure, but it's just curry in its original form, but because everyone makes it different there's a huge amount of variations, the most famous one made with chocolate and mature plantain), De Cacahuate (similar to chinese peanut garnish, it's peanuts goldened in caramel and red peppers, then mashed along with mixed vegetables. Probably a chinese variation), De Tamarindo (tamarind made almost caramel and mixed with macha and fried vegetables. Most definetely a chinese recipe included here as bonus) Chamoy (dried fruits and peppers with juice, these days heavily synthesized for vast public consumption. Probably a japanese recipe in its inception) Damn, now that i think of it there's quite a few. Tons of variations for each, what i can recommend is the usual procedure: Search the name for one (and translate it seems) check 3 or 4 recipes until you get the constant factors and make one you might think you like. I know i'm missing 3 or 4 other sauces there but i'm not that specialized in regions not my own, i bet they have very good variations or original recipes somewhere. I once read about a venom sauce but it was probably a joke myth, although venom extraction was a thing. In the United States, without any intention to denigrate, chicanos are very poor in terms of canonical recipes as they replace ingredients, sometimes industrialed and unrelated to the original, in such ways it might as well be another thing for another food, also they like to steal and claim their own (The renowned californian taco fish and grilled taco are a rebranded and bastardized sonoran "caramelo" and ensenada fritangas, Texas chili shrimp is a copy of the sinaloan aguachile, and so on). With this i long-winded meant to say english-written recipes are usually absurdity, not to mention inside the country it also happens in a lesser degree as some regions don't have traditions nor ingredients from others (mexican curry/mole tastes horrible anywhere outside the deep south, seafood is overcooked trash outside the northwest area, maize fresh tortillas are only good in the southern half, bread and flour-based items are only good in the northern half). Same goes with sauces, vinegar is very rarely used yet most canned versions both local and in the U.S. use it almost as a main ingredient, you would get hit in the face if you dared to put vinegar in a red sauce yet Tabasco sauce (made with a red pepper variety named after the state Tabasco, this sauce is most famously known for being raped to death by an irishman) uses vinegar as one-third of its volume. >>599 O-oh, you were from California. Sorry for the harsh words but you guys are the bane of our regional and national gastronomy, i couldn't help myself. >mild, medium, and hot Poor kid, but i can understand it. I will just tell you one thing, the severity of the spice (the hot factor) is a giant, centennial meme to mess with tourists or hide imperfections like too much salt or burned accidents. Sure it does add charisma and taste to the food but when one presumes or confronts the fact about its the hotness (view it as a challenge like drinking bourbon glass in a one sip) it's usually to hide something or like most taco vendors will tell you in secret, a way to sell more drinks. One of them told me when the drinks known to eliminate the effects (milk-based like horchata or cebada) were near the end of their stock life, he added thrice the amount of peppers to force the unsuspecting consumers to buy them. I saw it and it worked 3 times out of 3, it doesn't fail unless you don't eat it southern mexicans might be human but they are not people
>>600 I worded the vendor story very wrong. I meant to say the guy added 3 times as much pepper to the sauces when the drinks known to eliminate the burning/tingling/effects of the pepper were near the end of their shelf life. So when people added the usual to their portions they would inevitably get affected and forced to buy those drinks, which are also a little more expensive. Horchata is a rice-based drink with cinnamon and sometimes vanilla (some places add whole milk), Cebada is a roasted barley drink with evaporated milk and/or cream, also sometimes a little cocoa, clover or cinammon. Also i realize there's no english translation to the word enchilado, which means being under the effects or suffering from the spiciness.
>>600 Never actually had any Mexican dishes other than the typical nachos, burritos, tacos, and quesadillas. All the red sauces I've tried had a bitterness to them, is this how it is over there?
>>600 Good effort post anon, thank you!
>>602 >typical nachos They are an american recipe, the "real" ones are a copy made with much higher quality ingredients. Not saying it's superior, they are just different recipes as the american counterpart is a quick and well-made snack (sans canned jalapenos) while the other is a somewhat convoluted main dish to accompany cold drinks like beer. Burritos and quesadillas are northern staples but i doubt your local chicanos make it like the real deal, but that's somewhat unfair from my part because there's more than 5 ways to do them each and there's also tons of ingredient variations, but americans/chicanos do tend to shit the bed with burritos, they like to use dry pita bread as replacement of the flour tortilla because they are lazy or don't know the technique to pull the big ones, so it ends up tasting like a soggy shawarma instead of a real burrito. The outrage was so big at one point (national news throwing banter and trolling their counterparts) chicanos had to rename it "wraps". With quesadillas i've seen americans usually get it spot-on, but they only use monterey jack or some fancy gouda, which is good or better in my book but the "real", "classic" ones are made with something called "queso cocido" (boiled cheese) which is non-pasteurized milk coagulated while in a bain-marie, then left to cool to be molded by hand and sold in portion-sized bags. Later on the anabaptist migration brought with them dutch and other particular techniques to make cheese, excellent ones that made their state famous, called in the style of "Chester", like a mild gouda but not so creamy and with a kick at the end, these went until the commie government forced them into social integration with immigrants who were foreign to the state, let alone their culture that speaks a dutch dialect supposedly not even the dutch know what it means, then it faded away until some decades ago they started to sell to the public again, although in its mild variation with no kick and more creamy (hell, a colorless but quality gouda). Americans make great to excellent cheese when prompted but they don't usually go beyond hard cheeses, they cannot be given the moniker of cheesy lovers if they haven't tasted and gloated over fried basket cheese. Sorry went long again, i will see if i can translate a flour tortilla recipe with video to get you the hang of it, knowing how to make them commands envy from the welfare vampires, disdain from illegals and respect from the frontiersmen. It's piss easy to make them, will save you money, can be frozen for later use, unlocks plenty of recipes mentioned, but the problem would be a specific step that involves a certain machine (pic 3) that i don't think it's very easy to find in the U.S. >All the red sauces I've tried had a bitterness to them The well-made ones, yeah, it comes from the quantity of red pepper added which usually is a lot and some are much stronger than others. It happens accidentally too when using chili powder and the pepper is not known, prompting to use the usual and having tough results. With vinegar it gives place to an acrid flavor that leaves a bitter aftertaste but in a pure recipe mr. bitter comes first, knocking down your door and somewhat overpowering your mouth but it fades out and leaves the taste of herbs, spices and the pepper itself, althought with the pungency besides it. The bitterness is part of the charm but in a light sauce for amerinachos or small tacos, or well any kind of mix for baths, it is not desirable to have much hence the use of tomatoes to balance it, and the sweetness of the onion to curb the tomato's acidic taste after cooked. With vinegar included there's nothing to repel it and it busts the flavor up, maybe oil but that would be a bomb of a sauce.
>>606 >The bitterness from the red sauce comes from red peppers A while ago I asked about the bitterness in red sauces and the cook said it was due to coffee powder mixed in. Apparently is a common thing where I am.
>>607 >coffee powder mixed in Sweet Lord, what the fuck man I searched for that data and i've only seen 2 recipes, one from an experimental girl (avocado ice cream-tier lunacy) and a video with an old lady who got it from a request. I thought i knew sauces but you surprised me, apparently it's a thing in the U.S. and in some places down in the south, surprisingly not from the areas that produce coffee. I cannot wrap my head into it, i don't find a purpose as red pepper in the necessary concentrations is already bitter, coffee would only add more to it along with adding unnecessary caffeine (unless you wanted to get your dose from eating nachos) and i don't see it as a preservative, not even the flavor as acid tomato, sweet onion, pepper and garlic doesn't go with fresh-pressed coffee bitterness. I have seen cacao tablets with coffee and real tough chili pepper powder integrated into it, but it excludes all the vegetables and use with salty items. If i know an answer i will reply no matter the date, but honestly i can't see getting one Why would you do that? to add an foreign bitter into it? Why?
>>608 Yeah, they add coffee powder to a lot of Mexican foods here like Carnitas, guacamole, etc.
>>609 >Adding coffee to a giant stainless steel pot of pork fat frying pork meat >Adding coffee to a fat-rich avocado cream with garlic and onions Peak absurdity, didn't i tell you?
>>609 Where the hell do you live that does that? That makes no fucking sense. >>610 Speaking of guacamole, what's a good recipe? I usually just mix up avocados, roma tomatoes, a sweet onion, a couple jalapenos, and some cilantro. Then add in some line juice and garlic powder. Any suggestion for who much of each to put it or what to change up?
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>>557 I love cheese and dairy, I drink milk everyday and eat all kinds of cheese. Now, what one thing that tastes gross for me is pepper, I hate pepper. In very small quantities i can tolerate pepper, however depending on the pepper and the quantity it can overpower the flavors of anything that is edible. At least people in Brazil don't cultivate a spicy cuisine, I guess it could be much worse for me.
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>>611 Never see these posts on the overboard, sorry again, gonna bookmark the board from now on. >what's a good recipe? You let me thinking, the best guacamole i've ever eaten was made by a chef out of his luck i met in a rough spot, talked with him tons of times yet i never asked for the recipe even when i had the trust to do that. Deeply regret it but i did get the hang of it, i made it yesterday to confirm what i wanted to write up (2 recipes) and it's lacking an ingredient i didn't get to identify: Palate-friendly Guacamole Ingredients are almost like you placed them, for 1 Avocado it's 1 Roma Tomato (called Saladette down here), Yellow Onion (or even the normal white one) this one has 2 techniques to be placed, currently we will squeeze its flavor to the top so only 1 tablespoon of it diced will suffice if white (at most), 2 if yellow is used. Then the secret arts, we also need 1 leaf of Romaine Lettuce (or half from an Iceberg one), along with garlic powder, around a teaspoon or more according to your tastes, also salt of course. First we clean the tomato, now this will sound redundant but someone might not know: We chop it in half and clean everything inside (water, seeds) these are quick fuses for staleness along with introducing flavors we don't want. Then we dice it in big cubes and throw them into a pan with some vegetable oil (tablespoon) and fry the suckers until it expels a saucy smell. Until that happens we grab the onion spoon and throw it into the molcajete (mortar & pestle) and mash the dice until the onion looks like little tapes, juices will come out but it will not make you cry yet, don't move it. Add the fried tomato into the mortar immediately when it starts smelling cooked, don't mix it, here comes the avocado; the method to add it is slicing the avocado in half over its longest side (leg to head, not waist to waist), use the knife's edge and lightly drop it into the seed to pick it and extract it, and then even more softly make a medium-sized square grid in each half of the pulp, finally we use a spoon and take all the squares out into the mortar. I explained it even more redundantly because i know for facts that americans, for some obscure reason, always cut themselves or end up in hospitals with hand injuries because they don't know how to extract the pulp, cases measuring in the hundreds. We lightly tap the avocado with the pestle and suddenly the onion juices will impregnate everything, hence the low quantity of it (tablespoon for every avocado is the limit), the avocado here is matured if you picked it right so the pestle's weight will suffice to mash it with the soft tomato and the tapey onions. In this step we will add that lettuce, the leaf will be twisted with a little water and the teaspoon of garlic powder (or 1 chopped head if dry, half if fresh), salt and black pepper if you want; this magic liquid serves as the preservative to avoid the avocado from oxidizing fast (turning black) mainly due to the inner properties of the lettuce, the other way is using citric acid or lime, many many people prefer lime but in my opinion it gets way too much in the way of flavor and robs the avocado's protagonism, lettuce tastes way too light to be noticed by an unsuspecting person and with garlic even a notable taster will associate the slight greens taste to the avocado itself. Make a circling motion to mix the liquid, and when you are satisfied with the consistency (either creamy brown or mashed green with red) you are ready to go. That's it, obviously there's variations in the ingredient's placement, for example if you don't want onion pungency you can simply dice twice or thrice as much but add it after you've mashed the avocado, it will make for a milder experience but biting into the pieces will give a surprise. Lime juice can be added instead of lettuce and it will create an acidic cream instead of a savory one (side note: For some odd reason Lime in spanish is Limon, but Lemon in spanish is Lima. Many still mix them up from time to time and american guacamoles sometimes taste like overly sweet refreshing beverages). Also i don't add chili pepper like jalapeno or savory greens like cilantro because usually guacamole is a sauce eaten with other stuff that also includes other sauces. For example in a classic asada taco (flour tortilla, grilled meat chopped in big cubes or stripes, refried beans) people will add guacamole, southern pico de gallo and the regional red sauce into the mix so the inclusion of cilantro and jalapeno/pepper is somewhat over the top because those come raw in the S. pico de gallo (along with raw diced white onion and wet tomato). If used in stuff like snacks, nachos or simply as an appetizer, then i would probably add half an order of cilatro without dicing, slightly mashed with the onions. Instead of jalapeno i would use serrano pepper, i don't know how you mix it in but i always clean/disembowel them (tough to translate, pic 3) what i mean is carefully slicing the head out, slicing the meat in half and taking down the "veins" and seeds, which are the main culprits in getting stung/enchilado/suffering from the spiciness/pungency (another untranslatable word). Some like to leave it raw but others prefer the taste of the peppers alone and clean them up to avoid drinking too much or you know, enjoying the meal without sweating. So far from what you've explained i think you got the hang out of it, you just need to customize it into your favorite version. The closest thing to my fav is this wall of text, if i want big bites then the tomato and onions are raw, adding less and more in the former and latter. There's also another different recipe made by taco vendors and people who miss the flavor, you see for another obscure reason avocados became catnip for the americans a couple of years ago and their vast lust for it destroyed our local market (along with our soda industry but that's another story) good avocados costed 20 pesos the kilogram (1.50 dollars back then) now some green and hard ones that taste like grass cost sometimes 90 pesos the kilogram (nowadays 4.50 bucks), this means maturation time in the kitchen and sparse use of it, some places even charge extra for putting avocado slices in the food (when it was free of charge without asking). Because of this the typical street trash version of the guacamole from the south became a necessity. The Aguamole (watermole) is a contemporary staple made of 1 avocado, cilantro order, 2 peppers (jalapeno is the rule here due to its acidity), juice from 2 limes, 2 cups of water, salt and 1/4 teaspoon of cornstarch. You put everything but the starch in a mixer and twist it, then add the cornstarch with a little of cold water and mix it slowly until it develops into a somewhat dense fluid. You can also use normal flour but it gets tricky not to get lumps. That's it, for extra aberration you can also add vinegar for further preservative. Californians were a mistake.
>>612 Seems you never had a nice plate of food made with cleaned-out pepper, cooked green pepper tastes like a tangy, sweet and meatier bell pepper. Red pepper paste/cream tastes like a stronger red curry, nothing to worry about. Dry pepper will add a smokey flavor while stinging a little more than high quality black pepper. I don't blame you, some people are sadists and some others have sub-human manners because they are and like to torture and troll tourists with special blends created for military and/or construction purposes in the pre-colonial era. Also what's with your graphic? i don't understand it, it doesn't make sense.
>>611 >Where the hell do you live that does that? California
>>618 It has also spread out to places that have wannabe superstar chefs that think California or New York are the height of culinary art. Who latch onto meme ingredients. Which is actually one of my pet peeves. And coffee grounds became a meme ingredient. Coffee or espresso makes sense in some things, and I have seen coffee grounds used decently all of once in a dry rub. But then it started spreading like wildfire where it makes no sense.
>>615 Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try that when there's a decent price for avocados again. Just need to get a mortar and pestle now. Interesting idea about the lettuce though. Never considered that. You are pretty spot on about cutting hands when cleaning avocados. I need to work on not pressing down so hard and causing the knife to slip. I always made a more simple (and spicier) version when I just wanted something with beer and chips. But what you described sounds good. >>620 I hate those kinds of chefs. Learn to make something tasty first and learn what spices or ingredients go well with different foods before you start experimenting. But no, you have to have some hipstwr fuck with half-assed cooking skills who latch onto memes. Reminds me of salted caramel. A little bit of salt is fine, but then every dipshit dessert maker decides "lemme dump a fuckload of salt onto it, I am a matter chef now". Cunts, the lot of them.
Corn or tortilla coffee where you burn those and use that to flavor your water.
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>>617 >some others have sub-human manners because they are and like to torture and troll tourists with special blends created for military and/or construction purposes in the pre-colonial era. Now I have a new fear, crazy hombres feeding me the combat peppers >>620 >Coffee or espresso makes sense in some things Pic extremely related.
>>709 Excellent dessert, but to be fair wine is as important as coffee in that recipe. Not to mention cocoa powder that americans use in their cube presentations like in that picture.
>>709 >Pic extremely related. I mean it's mostly just a sugar delivery mechanism that also makes good use of either leftover ingredients spare coffee or shit that you've always got lying around extra eggs, ladyfingers which have a relatively long shelf-life. Not that it isn't great when made well mind.
>>711 >Ladyfingers, Mascarpone cheese, Marsala wine mixed with brandy >leftover ingredients or things always laying around God i wish i were you
>>712 Just host parties for society's elites once a week, and this stuff will end up in your fridge along with many tiny bottles of limoncello.
>>715 >many tiny bottles of limoncello. Just like make your own. >>712 >Ladyfingers, Mascarpone cheese, Marsala wine mixed with brandy Ladyfingers keep forever in the cupboard and have other uses besides Tiramisu. I'll grant Mascarpone is not something you normally have lying around but historically cheese is expensive pound for pound compared to a lot of foods is one of the easier cheeses to make and thus relatively cheap. Never heard of putting alcohol in it but apparently that happens with some regional variations, I wasn't accounting for that though really having some lying around that you want to use up is hardly impossible.
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>>715 >Just host parties for society's elites I've been there and all they drink is whiskey, the patriotic ones drinks our local alcohol which is hard to cook with They are also the most penny pinching around and only bring personal servings >>716 >Ladyfingers keep forever in the cupboard Somewhat hard to find due to their import status, they are relatively cheap but not something you find everyday. >I'll grant Mascarpone is not something you normally have >one of the easier cheeses to make and thus relatively cheap My regional italian descendants only make ricotta and canned fruit, a fat-rich and creamy sweet cheese is unheard of in this country. Quite expensive cheese too, even more so than fresh mozzarella. Also it's easy to find raw milk round here but processing it in the desert climate is not very feasible for a standard civilian. Also makes your house stink like unwashed genitalia if the climate gets hot. >Never heard of putting alcohol in it but apparently that happens with some regional variations Guessing you are talking about Tiramisu, as far as i've read the official recipe mandates alcohol, which is mixed with the espresso that soaks the ladyfingers or crumpled goods inside the glass. The classic Olive Garden cake cube version americans use, pictured here >>709, uses a shortcake template that is soaked in espresso and a little brandy. The one i use requires marsala in the cheese after mixing it with all the creams, but it's best to let the coffee cool and add it there instead. Marsala depending on the brand is already a fortified wine mixed with brandy or some variation of sweet liqueur, but i add a little Frangelico into the mix too for that subtle but rewarding hazelnut flavor. Also Kahlua as a replacement for half the sugar portion. >hardly impossible It's doable but you have to buy the wine in the U.S. due to its low demand here, but recently some specialized liquor store brings some bottles if you ask them nicely. Before that i used other fortified wines, Xerez mixed with a random Cabernet, Madeira but that's a little too fruity, and my preferred pick which was Cinzano White mixed with a little red wine whatever the type, the normal Cinzano is good but a little bitter for the recipe. I didn't try back then due to age but 20 years ago this recipe would've been outright impossible due to the basic ingredients being all specific imports, except cawfee.
My culinary malfunction is sauces. I can not pass it up. No real main dish to me is complete without a sauce of some sort. Rules of sauce are the more butter and cream the better. I love a good sauce/condiment. Mushroom, wine, aioli, mayonaise(you haven't had real mayo until you make home made). The one sauce i hate the most is ketchup, pure sugar, just too sweet disgusting with no real nuance, but i guess it suffers from americanization and thus has too much sugar (like everything american), if i tried making it myself it would be different im sure. You might say oy vey the sauce ruins the base flavors of the prima ingredients when used, but that's the thing, key here is choice which is never a bad thing. >>718 I did ladyfingers once with syruped rum, turned out well i think. >>525 Isn't that a contradiction? Last time i checked nippon love ketchup. Also If i was unconstrained in food budget I'd use more expensive cheeses all the time. I'm a big fan of variations of goat and hard cheese manchego and such in particular. Parmesan. Not a fan of soft flavor cheese a la Roquefort, Gorgonzola and Camembert. They taste way too much, I always see them as old people's cheeses because of how as with everything in life ages taste buds too degrade with time it's either that or genetics. Besides this I never saw anyone in their 20's ever rock on chomping down on Gorgonzola or any of those taste bud defilers. I'd love to see a typical American try Gorgonzola 4 the lulz.
>>718 >I never saw anyone in their 20's ever rock on chomping down on Gorgonzola Obviously never had a full baguette with roasted chicken and gorgonzola cheese nor a gorgonzola fondue with slightly toasted buttered bread with herbs. Damn expensive that's for sure, it's cheaper to make a real chocolate fountain with prime strawberries than try a well-sized fondue party. Camemberto cheesu is great for creamy soups.
>>718 >Somewhat hard to find due to their import status, they are relatively cheap but not something you find everyday. Different here. Even here in bongland you can get them at almost any medium or large supermarket never mind more specialised shops. >My regional italian descendants only make ricotta and canned fruit, a fat-rich and creamy sweet cheese is unheard of in this country. Quite expensive cheese too, even more so than fresh mozzarella. Also it's easy to find raw milk round here but processing it in the desert climate is not very feasible for a standard civilian. Also makes your house stink like unwashed genitalia if the climate gets hot. I was meaning more that cheaper to make for the producers as well, since very few people make cheese nowadays though good to hear some of your family as at it. My bad for not accounting for the fact that shipping shit halfway round the world is a lot more expensive than moving it within Europe. Genuinely didn't consider that. >Guessing you are talking about Tiramisu, as far as i've read the official recipe mandates alcohol, which is mixed with the espresso that soaks the ladyfingers or crumpled goods inside the glass. The classic Olive Garden cake cube version americans use, pictured here >>709, uses a shortcake template that is soaked in espresso and a little brandy. A quick google after I read it suggested that some regions/cooks definitely do add alcohol so also my bad, just one of those things that varies. The Italians I learnt it from were from a poorfag region who would likely see it as a waste if they even had either going spare. You'd have thought Tia Maria would be the obvious choice though but I guess that's more just duplicating the taste of coffee. >The one i use requires marsala in the cheese after mixing it with all the creams, Cream rather than eggs? I mean less prone to food poisoning and I know burgers have a problem with massive food poisoning but no idea about Mexico. >It's doable but you have to buy the wine in the U.S. due to its low demand here, but recently some specialized liquor store brings some bottles if you ask them nicely. Before that i used other fortified wines, Xerez mixed with a random Cabernet, Madeira but that's a little too fruity, and my preferred pick which was Cinzano White mixed with a little red wine whatever the type, the normal Cinzano is good but a little bitter for the recipe. Speaking from a bong perspective anyone past a certain age is likely to have Brandy or similar lying around certainly. >>719 >Also If i was unconstrained in food budget I'd use more expensive cheeses all the time. I Definitely. I always used to think, unfairly, that burgers had shit for cheese but I've since come to understand there is great american cheese just non-mainstream because fags won't look outside the supermarket but I guess as with everywhere cheese is still expensive. >you haven't had real mayo until you make home made Agreed. >Not a fan of soft flavor cheese a la Roquefort, Gorgonzola and Camembert. They taste way too much, I always see them as old people's cheeses because of how as with everything in life ages taste buds too degrade with time it's either that or genetics. I can understand why you might think this of the two blue cheses but why Camembert? It's stronger tasting than Brie certainly but I wouldn't put it anywhere near the level of a good blue cheese. I suppose it can have a strong smell which puts some fags off. >Besides this I never saw anyone in their 20's ever rock on chomping down on Gorgonzola or any of those taste bud defilers. Growing up they were the sort of thing you'd only see around Christmas for me but I definitely liked them as a child.
>>721 >good to hear some of your family as at it. Worded it wrong, i meant the few descendants of italians in my state. They were mainly construction workers and soldiers exiled so no cooking skills came from them, although in other aspects they shared a world. >Tia Maria wat >Cream rather than eggs? I meant creams as in the eggs processed, first one is the custard cream (that's your egg yolk, gives the heavy, sugary taste), second one the standard merengue (that's your egg whites, gives foamy texture) and mascarpone whipped on cold (that's the main one, makes the cream stay in place even as a foam due to the cheese solidifying faster than the egg). You can use heavy cream but i think that's overkill, mascarpone is the one and only plus its cold properties make it viable to use the eggs freely. I don't recall anyone bothering with food poisoning in my region, down south is a whole 'nother story. Getting diarrhea is a rite of passage and one of the countless reasons people from certain areas of the country dislike traveling to the capital and surrounding areas. >a bong perspective anyone past a certain age is likely to have Brandy Here the equivalent would be spanish fortified wine or the usual cabernet from cat ladies/cool aunties, in the former the most famous variety here is Xerez, mainly because churches only afforded that one and everyone and their grannies have a bottle of it if someone cannot make it to the temple and the visiting father needs some for last rites or eucharist giving. I would've thought englishmen had a bottle of gin laying around instead of brandy.
>>722 >Worded it wrong, i meant the few descendants of italians in my state. They were mainly construction workers and soldiers exiled so no cooking skills came from them, although in other aspects they shared a world. Ah, right. >wat Italian coffee liqueur. >I meant creams as in the eggs processed, first one is the custard cream (that's your egg yolk, gives the heavy, sugary taste), second one the standard merengue (that's your egg whites, gives foamy texture) and mascarpone whipped on cold (that's the main one, makes the cream stay in place even as a foam due to the cheese solidifying faster than the egg). You can use heavy cream but i think that's overkill, mascarpone is the one and only plus its cold properties make it viable to use the eggs freely. Right, then sounds like what I'd expect. >I don't recall anyone bothering with food poisoning in my region, down south is a whole 'nother story. Getting diarrhea is a rite of passage and one of the countless reasons people from certain areas of the country dislike traveling to the capital and surrounding areas. I know nothing about the good and bad areas of Mexico but I suppose it would logically get shittier the further south you go because that's true of pretty much every region in the world. >I would've thought englishmen had a bottle of gin laying around instead of brandy. Depends on the family, the age and the amount of money they've got. Most people past their 20s tend to have a variety of spirits in unless they're poorfags or alcoholics who can't keep alcohol in or they'll drink it at least that's the case out here in the more rural areas. Shit might be different in London.
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>slow cooker recipe >step 1: season and brown meat in skillet What the fuck is the point of using the slow cooker instead of just making the whole thing in the skillet then?
>>738 Buy a multicooker with slow cook and saute functions.
>>522 >Why do Americans put ketchup on everything? This is an outdated stereotype for the most part. Different strata of American society overuse different sauces >Ketchup - poorfags, children, Southerners >Barbecue Sauce - Midwest and South >Siracha sauce, aka hipster ketchup - poorfag urbanites who try to look less poor than they are, hipsters, food bloggers, west coast residents >Ranch - Midwest, South, and many non-coastal areas >Hot sauce - Niggers, Latinos who can't speak Spanish >Mayo - Northern half of the country >Shitty aioli that's just mayo with flavorings and food dyes - richfags >Fluorescent 'cheese sauce' - Niggers, children Ketchup use overall seems to be in decline. There are areas of the country that are averse to putting it on anything that is not french fries. Chicago is famous for disliking ketchup, especially on hotdogs. >>606 >Americans make great to excellent cheese when prompted but they don't usually go beyond hard cheeses, they cannot be given the moniker of cheesy lovers if they haven't tasted and gloated over fried basket cheese There are multiple variations of fried cheeses in Wisconsin, Eastern Minnesota, and Northern Illinois area. Fried cheese curds are the most common. Due to large amount of population in that region having Slavic, Scandinavian, or Italian roots, you can find European smoked, baked, and some other cheese varieties. >>618 No surprise there. Californians have year round access to decent quality produce, but they usually squander it all. Majority of culinary innovations to come out of California are just short lived fads. I'm glad that my regions has tendency to be wary of any culinary fads from California and New York. It keeps most cancer out.
>>738 It's a universal step for developing the taste of a stew or sauce. You can skip it for a slow cooker recipe if you can't be arsed.
>>738 Perhaps more even heating? If you were trying to make a casserole in the strict 'low and slow all around heat' sense then pure hob heat isn't really suitable. Different for a stew though. In any case a cast iron casserole that you can fry in and then use on both the hob or in the oven is a far more sensible purchase short of the need to cook for hours when you're out of the house.
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>>522 seconded. It's like chutney with no texture, 30% sugar and more acid. If you really need sugar sauce try pic related. I still have a jar from when they were her majesties company
>>738 look up searing. searing allows meat to hold the fat in better. tastes better, more tender, less dry.
>>775 It’s tomatoes and vinegar. Invented in europe.

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