/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong

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Open file (912.90 KB 3432x3417 Gar-Gar.png)
Stormtrooper 04/01/2020 (Wed) 10:01:31 No.2794
Where will you be, when the cat reveals himself?
Listen here, Jack, I'm a cornpop diddly doo space cadet. You're a lying rancor-faced bantha soldier. I'm running for the Galactic Republic Senate. Here's the deal. I do not fear the malarkey as you do! Me and my friend Froot Loops Kenobi would turn on our plasma TVs and watch euphonium. My kissable sister has the cinnamon rolls. Let's go to Carida and have a pushup contest. I don't work for you. Frothing at the mouth dick bitch jabberwocky. We will form a Grand Army of the Federation to counter the increasing threats of...you know, the thing.
Open file (122.36 KB 396x249 derp.png)
Open file (55.82 KB 370x493 Domina.jpg)
>>2811 A-Alright officer! No need to get violent! I'm going. I'm going! But before I go, do you have a moment to talk about the Order of the Sacred Circle and our Lady Domina?
>>2794 I wonder how much lasagna it takes to power that thing.
>>2841 Not as much as how much gibs are needed to power a nigger.
>>2841 Enough to create a galaxy-wide shortage and kickstart the Great Lasagna war.
[Rogue Squadron narrator] The GAR-GAR is the backbone of the Imperial Army's food supply corps. It can deliver over 20,000 boxes of frozen lasagna to Imperial troops on the front lines. But despite its role as a transport, the GAR-GAR still has powerful defenses including 2 heavy industrial firefighting hoses that spill lots of spaghetti all over the Empire's enemies. There are reports of Rebel tanks being disabled after having their cannons and drive systems clogged with the GAR-GAR's foodstuffs. It also has the unusual ability to attack by sitting on enemy units. When the GAR-GAR's designer was captured by Rebel commandos and questioned as to his peculiar design ethic, he replied only by devouring his entire meal in one bite and saying "That'll show Odie who's boss." [/Rogue Squadron narrator]
>>2851 Odie where are you when we need you?

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