>>147607
JAHANSFACTS
✔ brought a hamster to orgasm
✔ soundly rejected by the online hamster community
✔ had his pumpkin smashed by a foreigner
✔ carried a dead rat around with him
✔ buried multiple goldfish alive to make compost
✔ played with animal carcasses
✔ smashed a child's head into the ground repeatedly screaming "why won't you die"
✔ made a dalek and cuckshed in 3D
✔ low intelligence
✔ aspiring BBC script writer
✔ aspiring BBC cuckold
✔ obese
✔ founded Green Nothing Productions (not registered at companies house)
✔ vowed to review Twilight and Fifty Shades Of Grey while cosplaying as Bella if a facebook post about GNP got 10,000 likes (it didn't)
✔ owns an inflatable dalek
✔ wiped his cat's arse with his finger
✔ wrote about intravenously injecting women with cum, shit and piss
✔ wrote about removing and eating organs from living women
✔ wrote about cutting women into pieces
✔ wrote about wanting to shrink women and keep them as pets
✔ wrote about roasting Amy Pond alive
✔ quit after one day as a trolley boy
✔ threatened to strangle every member of an internet club
✔ made multiple topless youtube videos, once asking the audience to masturbate
✔ licked his own nipple on cam
✔ got banned from multiple facebook groups for transphobia
✔ his own sister is terrified of him
✔ wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and TheGatorGamer Sterling
✔ handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person
✔ terrified a deeply autistic man after performing oral sex on him
✔ killed a tarantula by crushing it under foot
✔ founded Project MIRTH
✔ pronounces bickers as "bickers"
✔ attempted to physically remove his father from the house
✔ got scolded by a policewoman who then told him to tidy his room
✔ demanded that his mother pay him £50 to move a chair
✔ got angry when she only gave him £30
✔ broke his wrist falling over after flamboyantly storming off when his mum made him pay for a bed with "his own money" (her money)
✔ blacklisted by multiple feminist communities
✔ blacklisted by the labour party
✔ threatened suicide bickers the requirements to receive welfare are too strict
✔ threatened suicide if terrorist sympathising communist corbyn didn't win
✔ cut his own hair with disastrous results
✔ refused to come downstairs when a friend came to play
✔ received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it
✔ can't be a computer technician bickers quantum computers
✔ can't learn to program bickers new languages will come out
✔ NEET
✔ showing many symptoms of diabetes (pain in extremities, slow wound healing, headaches, blackouts, lack of energy, intense thirst, sugar craving)
✔ told by an endocrinologist he is too fat
✔ not even white
✔ burned a gastropod to death in a toxic isobutene and propylene glycol solution
✔ rejected by the straight community
✔ can't learn to drive bickers self driving cars
JAHANSPEAK
Project MIRTH: Making Internet Racists Think Healthily
JIDF: Jahans Internet Defense Force
The JQ: The Jahans Question
JEU: Jahans Extended Universe
bickers: the correct pronunciation and spelling of "bickers"
GNP: Green Nothing Productions
Supremely arousing: how Jahans finds murder and cannibalism
Absolute nectar: a movie production company based in Lagos, Nigeria
Nazis: a catch-all term for literally everyone and everything
Submissive Blond Girls: see "supremely arousing"
Jeremy Corbyn: hope
The Female Doctor: also hope
Alexander Jahans is (a gamer) over 1k hours in skyrim, he's (a prolific writer) even controversial demonized by feminists & fascists alike. Jahans is also a huge TheGatorGamer fucking Sterling fan!