Second, attention is not validation.
People stare at ballerinas, people stare at dogs shitting.
You are an overly aggressive chihuahua in a tutu shitting in the middle of the living room.
It's quite the spectacle. But you've turned yourself into an ugly little creature, snarling at your own shadow, wearing a uniform that doesn't belong to you, doing something disgusting where you don't belong, in front of all and sundry.
To the extent that anyone outside of LCF has ever been wary of you, you've lost that edge with your 17 year old cat's paw going to the peepeepoopoo rape dungeon for the next 20 years.
Right about now would be the appropriate time to heel turn. No one is sure of how you imagine your story will conclude but it's going to assuredly be ugly if you cannot put pride and obstinance aside.