/cow/ - Lolcows

Autism speaks. It's time to listen.

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Enema Flopson Anonymous 03/09/2020 (Mon) 18:56:24 ID: 497fbc No.39778 [Reply] [Last]
This may not seem like your typical lolcow, but believe me, she is. Everything started when little Emma was a kid and she was cast to be in what would become known as the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, Harry Potter. Like most of you probably know by now, she was picked so that executives could bust some nuts ( https://archive.is/BG2zv ). However, soon enough she convinced herself she was an actual actress. Fast forward to 2011. The dullest franchise was over and no one considered her a serious actress so she knew she had to do what she could do best. Enter Harvey Weinstein, boom, HARVESTED. She lands a role in My Week with Marilyn, a movie she thought could give her a career path. And it was not due to lack of Harvey trying, he went as far as to tell the world that "now you see her as a woman", an obvious wink to his fellow producers wanting to treat themselves to somewhat fresh meat ( https://archive.is/Bl6RX ). But the only thing she got after that was a role in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a pretentious movie so dull it rivals the least dull Harry Potter entries. Desperate, she turns to Sofia Coppola, who makes her play the bimbo in The Bling Ring. Watson is a natural at playing a dumb slut, but sadly for her it would be the first of the many times she would prove she is unable to do a convincing American accent. Judd Apahack was her next stop. This time, she played herself in This is the End, a movie where she gets paranoid about the other celebs like Seth Rogen, Dave Franco or Jonah Hill wanting to rape her. As if anyone would want to, other than pedos who saw her in the dullest franchise. bickers she still couldn't get any decent roles, she went to Darren Aronofsky to be in his headcanon version of Noah's story from the Bible. The movie was a disaster and her performance is often compared to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. Flopson is simply unable to convincingly emote, and her cries seemed like she was trying to hold back laughter. This wasn't the first time this problem was evident. There's an infamous picture from 2011 where she's with Emma Stone and it's painfully obvious she's forcing a smile. It was around this time that she started being an obnoxious feminist and decided to become the UN's mouthpiece to lecture the world on feminism. To make matters worse, Flopson's smug, out-of-touch brand of feminism has earned her the scorn of other women in a similar position in the entertainment industry who also describe themselves as feminists like Maisie Williams, who called it out as "first world feminism" and said the things Flopson speaks about "don't bother her", being aware that women in the first world aren't really treated unfairly bickers of their sex( https://archive.is/FI9ed ). Still unable to find anything worth being in, she takes a role in the latest German guilt propaganda film, Colonia. It was so terrible that when they showed it in her home country, Great Britain, it made a measly £47 ( https://archive.is/44G44 ). This movie is the one that cemented her reputation as box office poison. Colonia flopped so hard it the slamming was heard across the globe, and once again Flopson was out of a job so she went back to daddy Harvey to get another role that could enable her to try again. After some kosher loads, she was cast on Regression. It was a commercial flop that barely made its budget back and a critical flop too. But daddy Harvey takes care of his harvested roasties, and that's how she now had a chance. La La Land was in pre-production and she was cast in it alongside Ryan Gosling. This was her shot at winning an Oscar! Sadly for her, when he found out she had been casted he dropped the role and they got Miles Teller instead. She was dropped bickers she was too demanding and they realized she didn't have what the role required (talent) so they got Emma Stone ( https://archive.is/uT73Y ). Now that Stone was in the cast, Gosling came back and Teller was dropped. Much to Flopson's dismay, Emma Stone won an Oscar for her performance on it. While Stone was earning her Oscar on La La Land, Flopson was raping the legacy of Beauty and the Beast. As if butchering accents wasn't enough, now she decided she was qualified to sing. And every song she "sang" needed to be heavily autotuned, yielding a robot voice as a result. She also couldn't keep her mouth shut and kept saying things that hurt the profits. Her poison wasn't enough to overpower the nostalgia bait ( https://archive.is/RreUl ) for the box office to fail, but it was certainly enough to make toys unsellable. You can see the literal mountains of Beauty and the Beast toys in the attached video. Thousands of Belle dolls were crushed bickers they couldn't be sold. Her decision to go with the Disney flick was a blessing for Damien Chazelle, who would have earned the loathing of thousands instead of praise for La La Land, were Flopson to perform in it undubbed. It has been speculated that Beauty and the Beast could have grossed twice as much had they cast a lead who was able to hit any notes at all. Her diva approach to work basically had her blacklisted ( https://archive.is/MmpEv ) so she could only get to be in a dystopian movie with Tom Hanks and her beloved bull John Boyega. It was a commercial and critical flop. She was out of a job for two years ( https://archive.is/3pfP9 ) causing her to develop a coke addiction and finally got her fellow activist Greta to cast her ( https://archive.is/7haOz ) in her feminist adaptation of Little Women after Emma Stone dropped the role knowing the script was a dumpster fire, baiting Flopson into thinking it had potential ( https://archive.is/l5Wo6 ). In the beginning, she was billed first. Later, as Greta realized what a mistake it would be she bumped her to second place and the lead became Oscar winner Saoirse Ronan. Once again she had to play an American character and her atrocious accent ruined everything. Even the Australian actress Eliza Scanlen, the literal who from Sharp Objects upstaged her. Florence Pugh and Saoirse Ronan did as well, as expected, and got a lot of awards buzz. Emma was again struggling and her coke addiction ( https://archive.is/yG6aX ) spiraled out of control as she couldn't cope with the situation, which adds to her femcel status, or "self-partnered" as she calls it ( https://archive.is/ybWBt , vid related too) as men quickly drop her if they're foolish enough to date her for a while bickers of her being so unlikeable in person and having these delusions of being a good actress/singer that make her unbearable to have around, literally no man can stand her after a while ( https://archive.is/e00Lp ). She was conspicuously absent from the movie's press tour ( https://archive.is/gmoQs ). She nearly died from a cocaine overdose as her coworkers toured promoting the film, and ended up in rehab. The pictures speak for themselves, you don't end up like that without a serious drug addiction. I predict a lethal OD soon.
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>DESTROYED a billionaire with one sentence chyaaaa
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>>140768 >>140871 >>140965 So what did more damage? The drugs, the jew producer cocks or just being a 30+ woman?
>>140984 probably a weird hapa stalking you 24/7

Aubrey Callum/Kirtaner Toad 11/08/2020 (Sun) 05:47:04 ID: 566d12 No.89881 [Reply]
The self described creator of the infamous decentralized hacker group named anonymous, made an ama on reddit of all places, to feed his drug fueled ego bickers his own website would not glean his cock. His wife is also barren, unable to produce children, which causes him to throw down the banhammer whenever its mentioned. He also has a page on ed but since he's willing to draw attention to himself, it's foolish he would start up a new /i/ board
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>>89910 No shit
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>>138379 Feels Guy, also known as Wojak, is an MS Paint illustration of a bald man with a sad expression on his face. It is often used as a reaction image to represent feelings such as melancholy, regret or loneliness. The exact origin of the Wojak illustration is unknown. On December 16th, 2009, the earliest known I Wish I Was at Home MS Paint comic was submitted to the internet humor site Sad and Useless,[9] which features the Wojak character standing in a corner at a party (shown below). According to "ask me anything" (AMA) thread on Reddit[1] by a user claiming to be Krautchan user Wojak, the bald man illustration was originally discovered on the imageboard Vichan with the filename "twarz.jpg." The image was subsequently popularized as a reaction image after Wojak submitted it to the German language image board Krautchan, with the earliest archived post appearing on April 26th, 2010 (shown below). Soon after, the picture became known as “Wojak’s face” and “ciepła twarz” (“warm face”). The image spread to other international image boards, including the Italian Pastachan[3] and the Russian Dobrochan. On February 2nd, 2012, Redditor Voyack submitted an AMA to the /r/datfeel[2] subreddit, claiming to be Wojack from Krautchan. On October 3rd, 2013, the news site Bustle[6] published an article about the origins of the Feels Guy. On November 19th, a Facebook[8] page titled "Feels Guy" was launched, which gained over 6,400 likes in the next two years. On May 22nd, YouTuber ReluctantMisc uploaded an animated video of Wojak titled "A day in the life of 'that feel when' guy" (shown below). On April 2nd, 2014, a page for "Feels Guy" was created on the Internet culture wiki Encyclopedia Dramatica.[5] On March 14th, 2015, the /r/Wojak[7] subreddit was launched for photoshopped variations of the Feels Guy image. “I Know That Feel Bro” (also known as “to uczucie” or “to uczócie”) is an Internet slang expression used to convey empathy towards or agree with someone else’s feeling or opinion. The expression, which roughly means “I feel you, bro,” is typically accompanied by a image of two Wojak embracing each other expressionlessly. I Wish I Was At Home (Playing Videogames) is an exploitable comic series featuring Wojak in which the subject is depicted as anxious and uncomfortable at parties and other social situations.

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my jewish mother
Julаy
>>89881 He ran /i/ before /cwc/ existed. He's a goofy weirdo who goatse'd live on camera nearly 20 years ago and he's absolutely in on the joke.

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Toad 01/23/2022 (Sun) 18:38:28 ID: 78f831 No.131631 [Reply]
Pedocord leaks from fat clips discord server where they have fox dick tranny jannies planning gay ops
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>>132019 first I know little about ghgool, Second I noe noting about "Basedloli"
Not even a screenshot of their userID's? Just shameful!
>>132598 This, OP is faggot, >we're not asking for a perfect service, a dossier, but at least get some ID's and more than just two phone screenshots.
>>132598 >>132608 what would discord IDs even prove? the foxdicks trannies claim to never use discord when everyone knows it's not true.
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>>132626 even if one tranny janny truly does not use pedocord, the live chat that jewsh's forum has is the exact same thing. It even has a clique.

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Jewroyuki Nichimura Anonymous 02/09/2020 (Sun) 03:34:05 ID: 1bc39c No.31304 [Reply]
HIRO IS A RABID FEMINIST NO REFUNDS, M00TYKINS 4CUCKS ETERNALLY B T F O >https://www.huffingtonpost.jp/entry/story_jp_5e3cb7f5c5b6b70886fd0627 Translation below, tl;dr a few new details on the completely trustworthy 'man' heading the 4um.
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>>58635 Based.
>>31304 god these kinds of chinese people need to lose their dicks and just die.
>>31386 >a fucking roastie feminist from twitter finding this fucking image board HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET HERE!?
>>60842 cope

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Koi, the dumbest pedo on the planet Anonymous 06/10/2020 (Wed) 06:39:05 ID: ea7eda No.61530 [Reply]
Okay, let's start off by leaking koi's system info. >OS: Windows 10. >IRC client: Hexchat >VPN of choice: Oh, wait, he's a NEET poorfag pedo, so, uh, VPNGate. Now, it's IRC log time! >Dolphin steals channel Jun 10 09:40:47 * Now talking on #2hu8ch Jun 10 09:40:47 * Topic for #2hu8ch is: current shitpost #4: https://8ch.net/vg/res/34430.html | Thread Template FIVE: https://paste.wishful.cc/?id=48 | where are the video games Jun 10 09:40:47 * Topic for #2hu8ch set by houston!~houston@mission.control (Wed Sep 11 21:19:45 2019) Jun 10 09:40:53 * Peorth gives channel operator status to DolphinKun Jun 10 09:40:55 * Peorth (Rind@dorm.clocktower.ac.uk) has left Jun 10 09:40:55 <DolphinKun> thanks Jun 10 09:41:02 * ChanServ sets mode +z on #2hu8ch

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Friendly remember, Koi and his goons love this grifter The dude is literally S​ARGON tier and always his videos are defending lolis/pedos or seething about "muh sjws" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4ST4HC533I
>>129802 As a matter of fact, Koi used to be on his patreon list, no sure if the neet failed streamer is sitll donating money to the channel.
>>128837 >waited a year for a comeback Seeth harder, pedo kek
https://tvch.moe/tv/res/246182.html#246461 Koipedo and his minions seem unable to wait a few hours to dogpile any anon that attacked them, they need to do it fast, just like a newfag samefagging. lol
https://tvch.moe/dunk/res/84872.html#85460 It's amazing that this has been going on for months now, it's always the same pattern of autism, weak banter and total impatience.

ILLUMINATI CHEESE BABE OPERATIVES Detected. Mac N' Cheese. 05/26/2021 (Wed) 02:24:33 ID: 8d9c7c No.103725 [Reply] [Last]
https://www.instagram.com/iamjojo/ https://www.instagram.com/jennettemccurdy/ https://www.instagram.com/billieeilish/ https://www.instagram.com/savmontano/ https://www.instagram.com/shailenewoodley/ https://www.instagram.com/nastassiaponomarenko/ https://www.instagram.com/avalouiise/ https://www.instagram.com/nataliebideen/ https://www.instagram.com/nessabarrett/ There are probably more Illuminati Cheese Babe Operatives. Once they are done being successful Illuminati Ritual Babeys they just watch Netflix, and watch Instagram and TikTok... They are Vegan or/not, but I don't care. The reason they are being vulgarly exposed is bickers they are a Dawn Government, and they are a bunch of Lactating Dawn Babeys or Hormonal Mothers. Their goal is to have you fall in love with their Breath, Their Smell, Their Pussy, Their Ass, and it all smells like a Cheese Pizza or a G.M.O McDonalds Burger.
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Indeed. >>127221
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We out on the street, Cutting It Up, while you make fun of disabled and troubled people. Seriously LOLCOWS? >Man the Fuck Up, Start Street Racing.

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Chris Chan Thread:JULAY.WORLD EDITION Anonymous 10/02/2019 (Wed) 00:22:57 ID: 9e34de No.10276 [Reply]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARBRA WESTON CHANDLER U R TRULY A ELEGANT WOMYN
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>>19024 Probably
>>19024 Judging by Chris' sexual deviancy over the years I want to say yes, probably. However hes always been stupid enough to leak that kind of private embarrassing information so who can say for sure?
Chris Chan made a break for it today
>>19024 This post aged well.

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New lolcow found on cuckchan's /k/ aka Schizo-kun Toad 11/05/2021 (Fri) 03:26:08 No.123836 [Reply]
Sups faggots, I found a potential lolcow that's ready for julaying whilst dicking around on 4/k/uck. This faggot's meltdowns are lulzy as fuck and there's even a fucking archive of this sperg's emotional meltdowns of epic proportions going back to 2020, each time he's reminded of his urine soaked sheets. From death threats to spamming gore to even repeating the same lines like a broken record, this G​AMERGATE's autism is beautiful and should be known to the rest of the internet. He is also a self-admitted newfag and says he is 22 years old. Our mentally ill edgepilled friend seems to enjoy living in absolute filth and has a weird obsession with troons and faggots, but doesn't like being reminded of it. He's also a stimmy collecting chimp. >https://desuarchive.org/k/search/subject/Poorfag%20General/ You can also find him sperging out in /gq/ and /arq/, inquire in the archive for more lulz. How to summon him >use one of the attached images and use it as the OP pic when you make a thread, be sure to put in "Poorfag General" as the topic. >he will proceed to call you a tranny, etc and spam gore/death threats. >buckle thy fuckles for lulz shall commence Common Names >Pissy Pablo >Bed Wetting Willy >Pisser Parker >Alex Aspergers >Petey Piss Sheets >Yuri the Urinator >William the Wizzer

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Can someone bait him again?
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Kek this guy's great. Danke schön OP, today you weren't a fag.
Let's see if he comes to us.
this guy seems pretty based
>>126850 >having cartoonish outbursts over banter >based shiggy diggy

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Grifter Kid Nick Lim - 8KUN System Architect: ROFL Edition Anonymous 10/24/2019 (Thu) 05:23:57 No.14397 [Reply] [Last]
Keep this playing in the background it's the thread theme. It's like watching a man drown for nearly 2hrs, start at ~9:00: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LreffN2srV0

Keep in mind at all time that this is the guy building 8KUN and "Project Odin v9000" with Ron. Jim and Ron Watkins have solicited the services of a small Asian boy named Nick Lim. He has a loooong history of being a grifter selling services like DDoS mitigation while also selling DDoS attacks at the same time. There are entire threads devoted to trolling him on hackforms.net but they've been scrubbed. Luckily we've still got the best stuff.

Q: When will ChadWheels stop winning g-guys? https://twitter.com/HW_BEAT_THAT/status/1187217275843006465

Best explainer: http://archive.is/wAzAw

POST HISTORY on HF: https://hackforums.net/member.php?action=profile&uid=2211567 - https://hackforums.net/showthread.php?tid=5807098

REDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/EtherMining/comments/8ar9by/why_do_we_have_to_discuss_whether_or_not_to_keep/dx0ygy8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Imagine trusting this oblivious little boy to case out your network and keep it safe. O_o

IG: https://www.instagram.com/nickthelim/
YT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC73cKA0l613nqAyX_3ST8QQ
LK: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nick-lim-96564a91/
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>>119307 >>125979 Samefag more.
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He uses Discord as "Lao" Here he asks 8k/month for DDOS mitigation for a small blog, and demands his 5k payment or else he will delete all the files immediately
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Customer says Nick didn't provide an option on the site to cancel auto-renew Tells Nick he shouldn't force auto-renews on people, get insulted
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Nick Lim commits financial fraud on customers For example, by not canceling plans.
Besides his illegal scamming, his "innovations" are mostly (or maybe even entirely reselling. He markets a leak search tool as innovation, then doesn't provide attribution to the guy who actually made it until he gets asked in public. https://twitter.com/troyhunt/status/1446610022176231428

chris chan thread Toad 06/30/2021 (Wed) 00:04:58 ID: 7ddbe7 No.107824 [Reply] [Last]
this is a chris chan thread
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>>113489 I'm kinda hoping he'll try to join all of them by pretending to be different sonichus.
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does anyone know how can I get into foxdickfarms? I would really like to be part of foxdickfarms maybe somebody can help
>>114758 Be a tranny eceleb or soyboy skinny fat paypiggie
this fat G​AMERGATE broke out lol

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